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Dear Tiffany,

I remember putting together ridiculous, elaborate, fancy menus for ridiculous, elaborate, fancy meals.

You have always loved the rituals of Fancy Food.

Fancy Food prepared for yourself.

Fancy Food prepared for someone you love.

Fancy Food at restaurants and in hotel rooms.

Fancy Food in its many forms.

I really love how these rituals of eating – these moments of mindfulness and care – have been a consistent source of joy for you.

I think it’s pretty cool, that deep and enduring love of Fancy Food.

Chomp onward, chickadee.

Love,
Me

#100loveletters

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Dear Tiffany,

Sometimes you feel so small and powerless. So tired – bone tired, soul tired.

You can barely walk down two flights of stairs, how are you going to hold the line against the torch-wielding, hate-spewing slimebuckets who are coming for your friends?

Sometimes you get so angry about that. You want to be something else. Someone else.

And you are not a particularly chill person. Like, at all. You’re cold all the time, but that’s not the same thing.

You do not have any of the qualities that you perceive as making a person a ‘warrior’ – and sometimes you’re cool with that, and you try to believe the things you say about the movement needing everyone, but *really* you feel pretty ashamed about it.

I love you anyway.

You will keep doing what you do, because even though you are small and weak and achy and tired and cold all the time, even though you are a sucking vortex of Feels, even though you lack both chill and skill, even though all of that is true, still, I love you and you have value and you have something to offer and you will keep offering it because you do that.

You are all-in, even if your “all-in” is more a splish than a splash.

Anyway, also, there are so many people like you, who feel small and powerless and tired. Do they have value? Yes, obviously.

So, there you go.

This isn’t a great letter, but I guess that’s also okay.

You’ve always wanted to be a crow or a raven. Powerful. Magical. Mythical.

But I think you’re more of a magpie, and there’s also magic in that.

Smaller magic.

But still magic.

Keep on going, little magic magpie Gloom Fairy self.

Love,
Me

#100loveletters

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Dear lovely fibromyalgia-enhanced body,

You are so resilient, and strong, and true. If I listen, you tell me where the boundaries are, and if I respect them, you bounce back from the flares.

It’s hard for me to remember this, because sometimes the boundaries are impossible. Emotional edges that I can’t control.

‘Ease up on the stress, I’m on the edge of a cliff,’ you say. But I can’t. So I don’t. And we crash. Two months of this flare, chickadee!

I forget that you do tell the truth.

And then today, a physical boundary. ‘No more stairs!’ you say. And I spend the rest of the day in the room, and the pain eases up. You told me what you needed and when I listened, it was okay.

There is so much about trust and care in this.

All the boundaries I haven’t been able to respect, to control, make it seem blurry. But it isn’t blurry. It’s just complicated, and that’s not your fault.

Today was good. Even the pain. Maybe especially the pain, because it allowed the communication.

Good job, us.

#100loveletters

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Dear Tiffany,

You did the thing!

Now you have some time to relax.

It’s okay to slack off.

Actually, it’s important.

I believe in your ability to work hard and get things done and design and execute Big Ideas. And I also believe in your ability to stretch into the more uncomfortable space of stillness and rest.

Take a deep breath. And then, rather than diving into a project on the exhale, just take another breath.

Love,
Me

#100loveletters

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Dear Tiffany,

You have an outfit for every occasion.

Elf Commander? Of course.

Gloom Fairy? Multiple.

Writer Girl? An evolving look, but definitely there.

Outfits for hard days and outfits for introverted days and outfits to help you feel grounded and outfits to help you feel queer.

Flying during the Perseids and returning during the eclipse? Yes, an outfit for that, too.

I love your outfits.

Love,
Me

#100loveletters
#365feministselfie

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We’re at the halfway point of the original #100loveletters challenge.

I am going to collect the email list posts, blog posts, and interviews into a resource package that would be available for free download on my website. The package would be designed to offer encouragement and support to anyone who wanted to start the challenge on their own (or with their community). It will also be a resource that we can use when I run the challenge again.

If you would like to participate – by including your favourite love letter, doing an interview with me, or letting me know how this experience has been for you – send me a message and we’ll get that ball rolling.

My goal will be to put the package together over the next 50-ish days, and have it available for download once the original challenge ends.

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#100loveletters

Words are challenging lately, and being mindful and present is challenging, and art pushes me into mindfulness and presence without asking me to words.

I am glad that I can accept the door that’s open even when it’s not the door I’m comfortable with.

I am glad that I can let myself do mediocre art as an act of self-love.

Also, I am glad that metaphors exist, and thankful that ‘subtle’ has never been something I aspire to be.

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I forgot to draw the name for the second hand-written card for the #100loveletters challenge last week, and I’m also a day behind in sending out this week’s email.

What that means is that I’m going to be sending a postcard to everyone who has signed up for the draw, from Montreal. (Why does it mean that? I don’t know. Why does anything mean anything? Scream into the void with me, friends.)

So if you’ve already entered the draw, send me your address.

And if you haven’t entered the draw, and you would like to, send me your entry (which can EITHER be a love letter, a discussion of your love letter process, OR just lettin’ me know you want in).

The draw is only for folks participating in the 100 love letters challenge, but “participating” is entirely at your discretion. You can be participating online in the hashtag, you can be participating every day, you can be participating offline in total privacy, you can be participating once a month. I trust you.

BUT! If you want to get in on the spontaneous “You get a postcard! And you get a postcard! And you get a postcard! EVERYONE GETS A POSTCARD!” deal, you have to let me know before I send out the email tomorrow.

http://tiffanysostar.us16.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=3c400335fd57acf5716460825&id=8757c06a2a