You are a wild and vibrant rainforest of a person – the sun shines so brightly in you, and the rain falls so often, and the shadows are so deep and so full of terrifying and amazing beasts. Every part of that is true. The bright and the dark and the terrifying and the creative.

You have done good things in your life.

You will do more good things in your life.

But there is some value in the things you dream up even if you don’t accomplish them, even if you don’t do them the way you imagined them, even if you do them and fail at them.

Walking back from the cafe – your head and heart full of new ideas just planted, and older ideas just starting to sprout, and older ideas than that getting ready to blossom, and even older ideas ready to harvest, and the oldest ideas mulching down into rich and usable soil – walking back from the cafe, you felt the wholeness of your Gloom Fairy heart.

Not gloomy like a dry and abandoned basement corner, like you’ve so often felt. No, a deeper, richer, more fertile gloom, like deep shade and dark earth.

And the fairy part, too. Bright and sparkling and magical. Yes, magical.

I love you, Gloom Fairy.

You are as worthy as you know everyone else to be. You are the expert in your own experience. You have the skills and the tools and the ability to narrate your own story, and it is a good story.

And you have so many good ideas. When I let go of the shame I feel about where I am in my life, and about who I am (and who I am not), and about my finances and my workaholism and my ever-present inner monsters – when I let go of the shame and see myself as a whole ecosystem of self… I like me. I think I am pretty cool. I think this abundance of ideas and this wealth of passion and energy – it’s pretty great.

Gloom on, little self. You’re loved and loveable.

Love,
Me

#100loveletters