Today is Day 100 in the Tender Year, and it is a Tuesday, a love letter day.
The Tender Year was created after the original 100 Love Letters project ended. That first project was life changing, and this project has been life changing, and that’s a lot of pressure on a day. As I thought about today and today’s contribution to the project, I really struggled. It feels so important. It felt like magic that Day 100 fell on a love letter day. And magic demands magic, right? The perfect love letter.
And I have another project happening – taking all of the writing I generated in that first project, and including interviews and other people’s love letters, and writing a book. I even bought a domain for it.
I thought the magic today could be finally setting that site up, spending some time on the book, writing a really good love letter and intro to the project. Officially announce the 100 Love Letters book project on Love Letter Day 100 of the Tender Year. That’s so good! Magic for magic.
But it didn’t work out.
It was messy, all the thoughts. I’m so irritated with myself lately. Hard to write a love letter from there.
And I couldn’t get logged into the domain, so that didn’t work.
And I’ve been sick for so long, I’m days behind on work, so I didn’t really have time to work on the book. Which is the case every day, and also, what kind of pretentious wank do I think I am, to write a book. Fuck.
But this project – I show up for it.
In whatever way that I can, even when it’s not magic. Even on Day 100 when none of the magic is working.
So I got out some chalk pastels. Messy and unfamiliar as a medium.
And I used my favourite drawing paper.
And I drew a thing.
And I labeled it 100 with my messy finger. Messy is welcome. Messy is uncomfortable, but it is okay.
Good job, me.
